<3

I hate rain.
We only had 2 and a half days of sunny days this month. Makes me want to say "f you Bergen" and move back to my home country D:

Anyways since this entry was supposed to be posted 2 times already I will make it short and finally post this :P

First of all. Outfits.

Sort of Okarie inspired outfit:

Then some kind of chillax style...with my new cowboy hat:D

Outfits for work.

This is how it looks after I raid my closet to find the perfect outfit for the day.

Make-up.
I tried Diamond Lash glamorous and honestly they are WAAAAY too dramatic for my taste since lately I've been really into more natural look. I'm going to keep them and wear whenever I want to go tsuyome but I probably won't buy them again any time soon.

Finally started using my Candy Pink lenses:D I LOVE THEM<3

...
moving on.
New stuffff!

I loooooove these shoes.

Got them at my work and god damn for being so high they are so comfy to walk in. BUT since they ARE high as f, I can't walk properly so I need some time to learn lol

got a few more new stuff but I won't make this entry longer than it should be xD

baichuu~

I always thought I had friends. And if you look it from one point,I do, but from another, I don't. Well maybe "friends" whom I can hang out with and have a fun time,but not someone I can go to with my problems and ask if they can help in any other way. Even though they say I can tell them everything I doubt they want to help, feels like all they want is to know my secrets.

I was having a conversation with my dad the other day about friends and who your true friends are. I told him; you don't really know who your true friends are until you are in a crisis. And I went on that I was never in that situation where I really REALLY needed a friends' help. Until lately.

I am going to a convention in Oslo, and since all the cheap hotels are booked I'm stuck with expensive ones and since I just started working again I don't have a lot of cash. Well I've been asking people around, including my so called "friends" if they have a spot for me(I would even pay) and turns out it's harder than it seems to get a place. If not I could always bunk with someone at a hotel. No can do.

See...I thought the people I called friends were going to help a friend in need(not the people I met a few times, even though I would say they are friends too just not the closest ones). I mean if one of MY friends were coming to Bergen and telling they can't find any cheap hotels, I would always have a room for them. No need to even pay. Because that's how I'm fucking raised, to be a good person and because I consider you a friend. I'm not saying you have to do me a favor if I did YOU one. No, I'm saying friends help eachother out when they are in deep shit. If you ask for something in return,ofc you can get it from me. I'm a fair and honest person. Just don't stab me in the back if I do you a favor.

Do you know who your true friends are?

The title says it all.
I might tell you guys what it's about, but for now I just want someone to say to me "it's going to be okey" without asking for the reason.

Oh well. I'll give you some pictures so you don't go crazy on me for bringing you down to my level heh *attempt at non-fake-smile*

I went to a second interview with the same store and the boss didn't like my clothes, later I got comments from friends and family saying I was maybe a bit too "exposed". So wearing a fucking skirt and thigh-high boots where you can only see like 5cm of my thighs is fucking EXPOSED? what? am I too fucking sexy for that store? apparently I am if you ask my bf...(not that I mind being sexy:P)

Seriously? I don't think the boss of that store ever liked me. I mean she commented on my accent? Yeah I know I'm not norwegian, I fucking get it, I wrote it down on my application, I even pointed it out several times, so why is there such a need to comment on my accent and vocabulary skills? If I can do my job right and good I don't see why my accent should interfere with my WORKING skills?!

I guess Norway isn't ready for skirts,thigh-high boots and a little skin?

Tuesday's outfit.

Today's outfit.
(I bet she would've loved this outfit...)

Feel like I'm in a muslim country for crying out loud(not dissin' islam but Norway is suppose to be this liberal country yet it sometimes feels like we're still in the 18th century).

Curled my hair...like this I guess. The picture says more than 1000 words.
I look like crap though. But I don't think it's weird considering I've been crying all day yesterday.

whatevs...going to sleep now.

Having a cold(and haven't started school yet) means you would rather sleep until late, than get up early to get dolled up....just to end up not doing anything other than sit home and watch television and/or be on the computer.

But for some days I managed to get myself out of the house. Which is actually one of my resolutions. Being at home,in my room, makes me all depressed so I decided to go out as often as I can! Hopefully my life will be an experience or two richer and I will be happy again.

Anyways I only have like two outfits since all the other pictures are on my cell phone,and the bitch STILL won't transfer my pics onto the pc....

later changed into shorts since I can sit then however I want:P

I was actually going to my bf's. We had a "date". Made sushi together(which was shitloads,ended up eating less than half of it xD) and later went to the movies. Not too casual with the top...I dunno, I wanted to be cute and all which I think I kind of failed since I'm not cute. But you know,trying and failing makes you a better learner I guess lol

f-ing rad ring no?:D

Yeah that's it I guess.
But omfg I hate that I can't seem to put an interesting outfit together. Seriously my inspiration level is like 100% but my closet is failing so hard. I mostly have spring/summer clothes. Wish for the winter to go away. It's been raining and then snowing,raining and then snowing some more. It ends up being all slippery and cold outside so I can't even wear my cute shoes and clothes=(

*sigh*
Spring will hopefully come soon!

I don't know why I'm writing this in my blog. My hands just won't stop typing. Maybe it's my inner self. While I don't want anyone to feel like I'm feeling now I kind of get "comfort" by knowing I'm not the only one suffering from this. I know it's a cruel thing to say and think, but I actually get a bit better knowing this. Knowing how there's somebody out there who can sympathize with me,who knows what I'm going through, who knows the exact feelings that I'm having when I feel like I've reached the bottom. A person who's life has turned to worse because of this.

Maybe you're asking "Why don't you get help?". If it was only that simple. When I feel like my world has reached its point I don't really care about doing anything except lying in my bed with all kinds of depressing thoughts. I am demotivated. Looking for help is the last thing I think about. When morning comes I usually am okey,not the best but okey,so I think "I don't need help, I'm okey:)" but actually...I'm lying to myself.

I hate how this has made an affect on my relationship with my closest ones. I'm basically a closed book. They ask if I'm okey and I reply "I'm fine",when in reality I'm not fine nor will I ever be because my life isn't as fun as easy as it should be.

There are things that my depression has caused me to do, which I never wish for my dear friends and family to know because of the feeling I will be looked at as mentally unstable. I just wish sometimes they'd know so they would help me somehow, even though I don't want to trouble them.

I'm screaming for help in silence.

Jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal skrive,det er så mye som skjer nå. Har noen bilder som jeg vil poste men har aldri fått tid til den posten. Vært ute i nesten hele forrige uke. Like greit, da er tankene mine et annet sted. Slipper å tenke så mye. Av og til skulle jeg ønske jeg var en hjernedød bimbo som fikk alt servert på en sølvfat. Da ville verden sett mye greiere ut, ikke sant?

Hey emo, skal du kutte deg selv nå?

Jeg hater å fortelle folk om meg og mine problemer,spesielt ukjente folk. Men jeg bryr meg ikke lenger, dette er min blogg. Don't like it, fuck you, gå et annet sted hvis du vil lese hvordan en jente som veier 40kg vil ned til 20kg, om dietten hennes, hva hun gjorde på festen forrige helg(sikkert horet seg),om den kjekke gutten hun møtte, bla bla bla.

Jeg har bare sluttet å gi faen i alt. Menneskene rundt meg, vennene mine, familien min, verden....alt gir meg en deprimert følelse og jeg kjenner jeg begynner å bli syk igjen av dette. Har hatt for mange emo-sammenbrudd, jeg har sluttet å telle.

Hva kalles det? mentalt syk eller emosjonelt ustabil?

Så, ferie siden den 19=O herlighet dagene før eksamen var sykt intense. Det gikk i dette, basically hver dag:

ØVE ØVE ØVE

CAMHORE LITT (bored duuuh)
ØVE ØVE ØVE MER!


BLA BLA BLA

Var på konfirmasjon for noen uker siden. Elsker kjolen, men da vinden blåste så var det skikkelig Marylin Monroe øyeblikk ehehe

Skoene er uuungh, fikk av mamma. Men skulle ønske de var svarte og ikke hvite da:/

Kjedelig innlegg er kjedelig xD bør VIRKELIG bli flinkere med å oppdatere og ikke være lat.